Our Wonder Working God

      A year ago, January 8th, my precious daughter was called home.  It has been a very difficult year for all of us.  The pain has been very intense for me, but I cannot begin to imagine the pain her three boys are experiencing.  She not only loved her boys dearly; they loved her beyond measure.  How does a grandmother help her grandchildren through such pain?  My prayers daily have been for their welfare and healing.  

     On December 21, I received a call from Tim.  I had not heard from him in years, I was surprised.  He said, "Annette, I had a dream twice I think you should know about.  In my dream I saw Johnny at the side door, as I was leaving Royalwood, and he told me to tell you they are alright.  When I got outside the door, Johnny was gone.  I could not find him anywhere."  Tears fell as I thanked Tim for calling me.  Royalwood was our church home while living in Houston.  Tim is my former son-in-law.

   God works in mysterious ways His wonders to perform!  I wish I could say that all the pain is gone, but the pain is here to stay...just like with Johnny and Booger, but I do take comfort in knowing they are alright.  And, one glad day, we will all be together again.  Thank You Jesus!

Weekend

    I went to have my nails done a week ago yesterday.  Pretty normal thing for me to do.  While waiting for Vickie to finish up on the lady before me, another young woman sat down next to me and began talking.  She introduced herself as Linh and asked my name.  She is a new employee there, so I assume she was just getting to know the customers.  Come to find out she was  one of the "Boat People" brought to the U.S. between 1975 and 1997, and she and her family, plus a young girl Linh's father rescued from another boat were taken to a camp in Pennsylvania to await a sponsor.  This seemed weird for two reasons: 1. I was born in PA, and 2. Vietnam is a nation with hot temperatures.  They had no warm clothing. I cannot imagine what they must have gone through, while awaiting a sponsor.  Anyway, we laughed about that and continued talking.  When Vickie came to the area, Linh disappeared.

     Vickie proceeded to do my nails, and she did an awesome job, as always.  I came home and let our 'new' dog out.  Sandy is a mixed breed, with a big part being Great Pyrenees that we adopted after we fostered her through her heart worm treatments.  She is a beautiful dog, but really on the stubborn side.  I opened the door and let her out into the back yard.  Little did I know she wanted to head to our neighbor's yard on the other side of our very tall boarded fence.  Before I went out she broke out a small section and went into their yard!  This was her second time to do this!  Bob got into the truck and went looking for her on the other street, while I called and begged her to come back.  I was finally able to slide one of the boards over and and see her being nosey and checking things out in the other yard.  I called and called, but she just kept looking around, sticking her nose into everything.  I came into the house to find some lunchmeat to coax her home.  She came up to get it, and backed off so I could not reach her.  I came back into the house and got more lunchmeat.  Praying and nearly crying I headed back out to try one more time.  On the way out, I tripped on a rock circling the grave of my precious pit-bull and down I went, chipping a nail on the way down.  NOT MY NAILS!  I also hurt the base of thumb and my side, but just bruised.  I left the meat on the board and came in to call Bob, but his phone was on the table! WAHH  At that time, Bob came through the front door, and Sandy walked through that tiny space and walked to the door.  He could not find the house behind us, and evidently Sandy wasn't too impressed with the neighbor's yard.  

     I sent Vickie a text to see whether or not she would have time Saturday to fix the chip.  When I told her what had happened, she thought it was funny.  Not me!  When I went in on Saturday, I was sat in a chair a few chairs from Vickie as she was working on another customer.  This time another customer sat next to me and started up a conversation.  When I told her why I was there, she asked what had happened.  I told her the tale of the great escape and showed her a picture of the culprit. " Oh, she is Great Pyrenees," she exclaimed.  "They love to wander."  Just exactly what I had wanted to hear!  Sandy does not go out alone!  

     Sandy is getting better, but she still has a person with her each time she goes out.  She is becoming a special member of our family...

Totally Retired??

     I retired as a classroom teacher in 2011, but I went into substitute teaching almost immediately.  I was not ready for retirement!  At that particular time, I  was far from being ready to retire, but now, I believe I might be.  I may look into subbing at a private school or church school, but I am done with public schools.  I can no longer work for a district that hires an out of state company to manage its substitutes.  This is a total waste of funds!  Nor do I believe that boys have a place in girls restrooms, dressing rooms, or sports.  No, I think it may be time for me to look into doing things for others, as the Lord leads.  

     I love writing, so maybe I need to look into this as an avenue, also.  I have stayed connected with many of my former students, and one said this may be the time I need to write my book.  I mentioned that I may need to add one of his family members in the writing of such a book, and he laughed.  But, seriously, I might!

     Aside from my children, my classroom students were the glue that held me together, even the ones who would rather do anything other than the work expected.  There are so, so many that hold a very special place in my heart!  There is one I would like to find.  His nickname was Pockets.  I have not seen him in many years, but I would like to find him and learn now life has treated him.  

     The Rio Grande Valley will always be home, especially Rio Hondo.  A big chunk of my heart was left there, and the longing never leaves.  I know "things" have changed since I left, but the people haven't.  I am hoping to get to visit "home" again soon.  Hope to see some of my former students when I make that trip!

I Still Believe

     Bob and I went to see the movie "I Still Believe."   It was, by far, the best movie I have seen in many, many years.  Without giving anything away,  this movie opened up a flood of emotions I have kept hidden and dormant for years.  I have never been one to show my emotions, except when I am taken by surprise with a love filled moment: I cry.  As I watched this inspiring movie, memories flooded my heart and mind.  The theme of trusting God, no matter what, hit home; that we all have a divine  purpose is still swirling through my brain.
     The only memory I have of my father is when I was about four years old.  When I came down for breakfast, he was sitting at the table.  I knew him!  But, I do not remember how or why I knew him.  I climbed into his lap and sat there for awhile.  I finally asked him if he wanted some toast with his coffee, and he said, "Yes, do you know how to make it?"  I jumped off his lap and ran to get bread and put it in the toaster.  I was so happy!  Once the bread was toasted and buttered, I set it on the table for him and climbed back into his lap. 

     After he finished eating, he called my brother Tony over and said, "Here take Annie Bananie to the movie."  I clung to him and did not want to go upstairs to get dressed for the movie.   I wanted to stay with him!  I needed my daddy.  But he assured me he would be there when I got home.  So, reluctantly, I went upstairs to change clothes.   I do not remember what we saw.  The only thing I remember is my daddy was not there when we got back, and I never saw him again.
     My mom, having been excommunicated from the Catholic Church, would not go to church.  She did talk about God, but not always positively.  She did, however, listen to music, and one day I heard the song: "It is No Secret What God Can Do." I went up the stairs as this song was playing, and stopped to look up and out the window at the top of the stairs.  Looking out I said, "Okay God, what will you do for me?"  I have not forgotten that, nor the clothes I was wearing.  When this memory comes back, and it has often during my life-time, I can see myself standing there in my sun suit  with green vines across the white suit.  The collar was green with white vines on it.
     I troubled my Mom with requests to attend church.  She finally told Tony to take me one Sunday morning.  We rode the bus to downtown Pittsburgh and went to a large church there.  I was in heaven!
And, then my brother said, "Okay, we've been here long enough, let's go."  We left there and went to the movie, using the offering money Mom had given us.  I remember some of that movie, especially the last line, "Don't trouble him now, he has the world in his arms."  It was a pirate movie.  I did not attend a church again until we moved to Texas, about three years later.
     We left Pittsburgh the summer I turned seven.  My mother had married again, and Bill was in the military.  Mom, Tony, Richard, and I left for San Antonio, but my brother David stayed behind with an aunt.  Tony and I had a fun trip!  We sang songs, told silly jokes and stories as we traveled.  Life changed drastically for us over the next year.  Bill proved to be an abusive alcoholic.  It wasn't long before Tony was sent back to Pennsylvania to live with my Mom's cousin.  As he was boarding the bus, he turned and said, "Via con Dios."  Words taken from a song of that time, but words that have hung in my mind for all this time.
      We moved off base just before Bill was shipped over seas.  Our neighbors went to church often and invited us.  Mom still did not go, so I went by myself.  It turned out to be an apostolic church and it scared me.  The next time I went to a church was in Germany.
       The next memory that flooded my mind as I watched "I Still Believe" was that of my first son.  He was premature and lived twelve hours. I never held him.  I was alone when the nurse told me, and soon after that  my husband came into the room.  He had tears and I held him.  I went home that day, and the first thing asked of me when we got to the house was, "What did you do?" When my Mom was coming to the house, she informed me that my real Dad had died the day my son was born.  I cried when I was alone.  I could not share the pain with anyone.
      The next memory that hit was that of John.  Oh, Johnny, momma has missed you something fierce.  The pain and tears were flowing as I watched the movie.  John's dad is the one who told me of the accident.  I was hanging clothes on the line when he ran out of the back door calling my name.  The look on his face I will never forget.  When he told me, "He's gone, Johnny's gone."  I fell to my knees, and just stayed there.  I could not understand what he was telling me.  Gone?  I got up and rushed inside.  I had to call my older children...
      I went out for a walk the next morning, and as I was walking down the dirt road, I screamed at God.  How could this be happening?  Why did this happen?  Johnny had the kindest heart.  He loved the Lord.  Why, why?  I screamed all the way down the road.  Finally, I stood at the fence of the pasture, and prayed.  Coming home, I was able to thank God for the young man who had been my son.  I was privileged to watch him grow for 19 years.   God had a purpose.
      And Booger.  Why???  This silly, fun loving kid was taken way too soon.  I will never forget his phone call that night.   He called to see who won the football game because he and his friends had left before it ended.  He was really excited when I told him the Bobcats had won.  "Really, Mom, they won?"  We talked about the game for a few minutes, and he said, " I love you Mom."  His last words to me...  Again, I did my crying when I was alone.  I felt I had to be strong for everyone else.
      When my other children left home, I could not let them see me cry.  Perhaps, this is a trait I picked up from being told more than once, "Big Girls don't cry!  Now, stop it and go splash cold water on your face."  I do cry if is am surprised with a happy moment, or if I see something touching...  But, they may rest assured, cry I did...alone.  

     This movie certainly opened a flood gate of memories for me, and it left a desire to do better with the rest of my life.  May the desires of my heart be in line with what God desires.

     

2020 Shelter in Place

    We have been sheltering in place for nearly two weeks.  It is so difficult to truly wrap my mind around this.  People not permitted to work, schools closed, church services not permitted, children kept from their friends, restaurants serving only take out, and standing six feet away from anyone we might encounter has become the norm of the day.  We have been told this will probably last through April.  And, to top it off, the weather is dreary here in central Texas.  Dark clouds, rain, and thunder help drive the isolation to a new level.
      Yesterday, before the rain started, Bob and I went for a drive to see the Bluebonnets.  They and the Paintbrush were absolutely beautiful!  I am not sure what the yellow flowers are but, when there are patches of Bluebonnets, Paintbrush, and these yellow flowers tossed into the mix, I see the marvelous hand of God.  Who else could 'paint' such a scene along the roads, on the hillsides, and through the fields.  Amazing!  Exactly what I needed to lift me from the funk in which I had found myself.
      Earlier this week I was sitting on the deck and looked down to see an inchworm crawling on my leg.  Just inching along!  I watched him for awhile, and then I put my hand down to see if he might climb onto my hand.  He did!  It's the little things!  He probably fell from the Mimosa tree.  Bob was going to put him on the tree, but he fell from his hand and disappeared.
      I was able to talk with my neighbor across the street, as I put the trash can out.  Come to find out, her little girl has a birthday on Sunday, but of course no party is planned. She will be five.  I have asked my grandchildren to help me make her day special.  Hopefully, we will.
      I enjoy watching the birds as they come into the back yard to eat three times a day: dove, blue jays, cardinals and a few other species.  And, of course the squirrels.  The squirrels remind me of frolicking children.  They seem to have so much fun hanging from the trees!  Of course, John D. and Wes G. would disagree.
      Chrystal, her kids, and I went walking Tuesday trying to maintain social distancing.  Domenick,
 aka Little Guy, was wound up!  He talked, telling stories, non-stop!  Chrys had to force him to let
Madison talk.  Madison thinks he needs to stay home next time we walk.  haha
      We will get through this by God's grace.  I do realize that some are not able to see anyone, and this is heart breaking.  If you know anyone totally alone, please, check on him or her.  Send a card, speak from a distance...something.  We are all in this together!  May God bless each and everyone of you!

Christmas Momories

     I really enjoy watching the Hallmark Christmas in July programs.  The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is my favorite time of the year, and I do not mind an extra two weeks of this glorious time brought to me in the summer.  Several of my friends do not care for this dip into Christmas, but I find it heart warming.  These programs bring heartwarming memories...

     I remember 2 distinct Christmases from my childhood.  When I was four, my brother Tony woke me up saying, "Get up Annie.  I am going to prove there is no Santa Claus." Rubbing my eyes I followed him to the top of the stairs and looked over the banister.  Below, I could see my mom decorating the tree.  In our family, at that time, it was tradition for Santa to trim the tree when he visited on Christmas Eve.  Not quite sure what I was seeing, I found myself being dragged to my mother's closet.  Inside there were bags and boxes full of toys.  I could not believe what he was showing me.  How could this be?  I went back to bed broken hearted.  Christmas had lost its charm...

     The next morning, the tree was fully decorated and the floor was laden with gifts and placed all around the beautiful tree.  I received twelve dolls, two dish sets, and a table and chairs set.  I had seven aunts and uncles who were very giving.  I have to admit that I was not very joyful for a four year old on Christmas morning.  After breakfast, I donned my snowsuit and went to visit others in the projects.  What I saw in many of the homes was more painful than knowing Santa was not real.  Far too many families had no gifts at all, nor fixings for a Christmas dinner.  A taste of reality...

     I headed home to gather up ten dolls and one of the dish sets, to then go back out and distribute them to those without.  That was the most gratifying part of that day!

     While we were in Abbeville, LA, waiting to go to Germany, we were living in a small apartment attached to one of the large plantation type homes there.  All of our household goods had already been shipped, so we did not have decorations for a tree.  But, being the innovative individuals we were, we got a branch from a tree on the property, put it in a milk bottle, made decorations, and trimmed that "tree."   We had so much fun!  That night I did everything I could to convince my little brother that there is a Santa.  "Listen Richard, I hear Santa's sleigh bells.  We need to get to sleep!"  He was so excited the next morning!!!

     Another non-exciting Christmas was when I was ten.  We were  in Vogelwah , Germany, and my mother had the tree up several weeks prior Christmas day.  My step-father liked them up early.  However, once a gift was placed beneath the tree, neither Richard nor I could go into the living room.  Not good!  But, the gifts were not wrapped, so we waited.  Well, we almost waited.  When the door was open, we could see inside. Low and behold, beneath that beautiful tree was the ugliest coat I had ever seen.  I knew it was for me and got sick.  It was so ugly!

     Christmases took a turn for me, once I had Claudette.   Claudette's first Christmas was full of laughter and surprises.  My brother was home from college and staying with us, and Uncle Jerry was visiting his mother, so he, too, was close by.  Richard came home, after being out for awhile, with a black eye.  He had gotten into a fight with someone at Clyde's Drive Inn.   Young men, being young men just home from college, were prone to do so.  Anyway, once a couple of punches were thrown, they became friends.  Weird, right???

     Jerry came by the house Christmas day.  He brought me an armadillo purse and a doll for his niece. However, Claudette was more interested in the purse than she was the doll. I carried that purse for years.  It was actually made from the outer armor of  a real armadillo.  Definitely, a conversation starter.

     Christmases after that were filled with kids, laughter, and memories. I did my best to surprise each one of my seven wonders of the world.  I wasn't always able to do so, and I know there were disappointments, and for that I am truly sorry.  But, there was a lot of laughter and even good memories over the years.  The last tree Johnny helped pick out and bring home in his brown pickup
had a nickname, Charli.  I usually buy a 6-7 foot tree that is full.  Well, this one was
about 4 1/2 feet tall, but it was the fullest we had ever owned.  The kids all loved it!

     Christmases after that one in 1985 changed.  Oh, we enjoyed the tree and Christmas fun, but a very important member of the family was missing.

     There were many changes in the family, but Christmas still held a special place in my heart.  I think it is connected to the realization that  our Lord was born at that time, and life without HIM has no meaning.  People are just friendlier during this time, and the presence of God can be felt.

     1997 brought another tremendous heartbreak.  Booger went home in November that year.  I bought a tree, but could not decorate it.  I gave that tree to Mrs. Bates to give to someone she knew had no tree, and David and I went to Alaska.  We flew out Christmas Day and spent a week.  We enjoyed the walks to town through the snow, seeing moose, and sleeping with the window open!
We enjoyed the time we spent there.

      Christmas still brings joy to the heart of this old lady.  The anticipation I feel after Thanksgiving
could be related to the anticipation the shepherds felt after the visit by the angel.  Now, that is a nice thought!

      Bob and I recorded a few of the Christmas in July shows, and will continue to watch them until the new Christmas shows start.  I hope this statement does not offend, but I truly hope you have a Merry Christmas!
 

   

Happy Birthday Baby Girl

     It seems like just recently that I was hanging out with my mother and expecting you.  We were just talking and laughing about various things, and dad was sitting there, not really paying attention to us.  Grandma asked if I was having any pains, and I laughed and said no.  Awhile later she asked again, and my reply was the same.  You were not due for about another month, so I was not expecting her questions.  This kept on for  quite some time, and I was wondering why she had these questions.  Finally, she told your dad that he should take me to the hospital.  What????  I was not in any pain! Finally, she wore us both down, and we headed to Valley Baptist.  I was wearing a  beige maternity skirt and top and had on heels.  The nurses were really surprised with me walking down the hallway with heels on.  😊😊  I think I wore heels every time I went to the hospital...

     Once we got there,and I was examined, sure enough I was in labor.  Later, when I asked grandma how she knew, she said I could see the contractions.  I never felt them!  I was in a bed waiting for Dr. Rodriquez, and heard him rushing down the hallway saying where is Mrs. Haynes, am I in time.  As he passed my doorway, he glanced in and said, "Whew, I was afraid I would be too late."  I am lying there thinking, but there is no pain.

     At that point, I was taken into the delivery room.  When Dr. Rodriquez came  in he was really up tight.  He asked me how I was feeling and why I had waited so long.  My response, again, was I had no pain.  He could not believe it.

     Long story shortened, you were born about 30 minutes after we arrived at the hospital.  You were amazing.  You were laid on my chest for just a few minutes, and then whisked off to the nursery.  Being about five or six weeks early, I think they wanted to check you out.

     Once I was in my room, a nurse came in and told me you were fine, but a little on the small side.  It never dawned on me that there could be a problem with this, because you were perfect.  I slept that night and the next morning the nurse brought you into me.  She placed you in my arms, and I was hooked!  You were content to just be there.  You never cried or whimpered.  So, so peaceful.

     They brought you into my room a couple times that day and once the next morning.  The doctor came in and I was released, but you would have to stay because your weight had dropped  below five pounds.  I had to leave my baby girl in the hospital for eleven days.  Dad and I would visit and look at you through the window, being told how well you were doing, but being able to hold you.

     After eleven days, we were told you were weighing over five pounds, so you could go home!  We wrapped you up and home we went!  Up to this time, we had never heard you cry or whimper.  My mother said, "Well, you will hear her now."  You were home 2 weeks before you ever cried!  Scared me nearly to death!  I was so afraid I had done something wrong.  I started crying...

     You were never one to cry much.  During the night I would hear you squirming, I would change your diaper and fix your bottle.  During the day I would hold you a lot.  Guess you had no reason to cry!!!  I went back to work when you were about six months old.  One evening, you began to cry some, so we took you for a ride.  Worked like a charm!  So, we started putting you into the stroller, and dad would push it with his foot when you got fussy.  During the time dad was not at home, I would do it.  You loved it!!!

     You loved people!  Your cute little smile would bring many to your side.  You just naturally expected people to be kind and respond to your smile.  But, one day, after moving to Brownsville, the postman was on the steps putting mail in the mailbox and you smiled up at him and said "Hi."  He never said a word, and the look on your face, broke my heart...

     Remember Link?  The bratty boy who would pull your hair.  So many memories of you growing up.  Learning to ride your first bicycle.   Having "coffee" with grandma Ila.  Spending time with grandma Elsie and Aunt Annie.  Being a big sister to Jamie.  Asking why the baby cried?  Being my big helper.  Sitting on your bed as a senior saying, "I can't do this any more."  When I asked what was wrong you said, "I just can't make all these A's."  To which I said, "Then don't."  Or the time I gave you the note to read on the bus.  LOL  Or your one and only trip to the emergency room!!!  So much, in such a short period of time!

     Where have the years gone?  Time never stood still.  Here you are grown with two marvelous children of your own and a grandson on the way.  Guess I have blinked once too often.  Never doubt  you are loved and always have been.  In  fact,  I love you MORE!!!