Yesterday, August 27, 2011, Chrystal and I left the Austin area on a trip that would allow us to say good-bye to her Uncle Jerry and my former brother-in-law turned friend. Jerry Thomas Haynes was the third son born to Fred and Elsie Haynes of Harlingen, TX. His early life, as my former husband's, was marked with tragedy and difficult times. Jerry was eight or nine when his father died and life became very, very difficult for his mother and her family of five young children. With five wild and rambunctious boys and a young, handicapped daughter, life would prove to be anything but easy for this feisty young mother...
I first became aware of Jerry when I was eighteen. I was dating his brother Claude at the time. Jerry liked working in the oil fields, so he wasn't around a lot. Claudette's first Christmas brought Uncle Jerry to our door Christmas eve. He had his arms loaded with gifts for "Baby Girl" and her parents. I do not remember what he brought for everyone else, but he had an armadillo purse for me. Oh yeah, it was a real armadillo! It was made from the outer "shell" and the head was attached to the flap that closed the purse. I know, I know, it sounds horrible, but I liked it and carried it for years. One cannot destroy the armor like shell of an armadillo. lol "Baby Girl" was petrified by it! She did not want it near her....
We later moved to Brownsville, and Jerry made a couple of visits while we lived there. Once, in particular, he came down on a Friday and he and Claude went out to play pool. I stayed home with Claudette and Jamie. I began to get concerned around midnight and took up a seat near the window so that I could keep an eye on the road and hope for their safe return. Sometime around one a.m. they truck slid into the drive and stopped immediately. The doors on both sides of the truck opened and both men tumbled out. Claude and Jerry were fighting. This was so foreign to me, I did not know what to do. I stood on the porch calling both their names and pleading for them to stop. Claude had a punch land on Jerry and Jerry fell. He was knocked out. Claude picked him up and carried him into the house and laid him on the sofa. He told me, "he'll sleep it off and be okay in the morning." What???? Is that all? We went on to bed, and I was worried all night. What would the morning bring? Once up, and after a trip to the rest room, Jerry came out looking rather sheepish and exclaimed, "I guess I had it coming." He was sporting the biggest black eye I have ever seen. That was it. Nothing else was ever said.
Jerry moved from the valley with his wife Anita in the late 60's and we saw little of him. But, when ever he did visit, we were all able to pick up and start where we had left off the last time we saw him. Eventually, Jerry became a master plumber and his work took him to Houston. He and his wife had one daughter, Michelle, and lost twin girls. Life became difficult for him. He drank more and his marriage fell apart due to lack of trying on both parts. But, his love for his brother and our family did not change.
We moved to Houston in '73, and we saw more of Jerry our first few years there. He eventually joined AA and stopped drinking. I visited the meetings with Jerry until his brother joined in'77. Jerry lived the AA experience. He made it his mission to help those who wanted help. Life was far from easy, but it was better.
After Claude and I separated, I saw little of Jerry but, when ever we met, he was always the same. We picked up where we had left off, and we were still family. My children loved their Uncle Jerry and he loved them. Love does not require a daily viewing. There may have been years between visits, but the relationships stayed intact.
Those at the memorial spoke of a man who would not put up with anything done half heartily; he did not want to hear anyone say the Lord's name in vain, and he always maintained that God did not have a last name. He always blessed his meals, and was always polite. He was a gentleman, but far from perfect. The Ivey brothers remembered the fun loving friend they grew up with and his mother, who was like their second momma. The Ivey and Haynes boys had a 'history'... lol
And, of course, everyone there had fishing tales to tell. Jerry was a fisherman... He loved to catch big reds! Next to the people he loved, fishing was his life. Are there fish in the Crystal Sea? His ashes will be scattered in Matagorda Bay.
We said good-bye to a gentle soul yesterday, but he is enjoying the fresh fields and golden streets of home, and I would be willing to bet that he, John, and Booger have already made their way to heaven's fishin' hole.
Via con Dios Jerry, until we meet again.
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